Our Demands

Following the annexation of Castlereagh by Lisburn Council, we, the Dundonald Liberation Army (DLA) demand the following:

  1. A public declaration by Lisburn City Council that it is the right of all the people of Dundonald to decide the future of Dundonald, so it is.
  2. A declaration of intent to withdraw any claim that Lisburn has over our beloved Icey (Dundonald International Ice Bowl).
  3. Bin collections will revert back to whatever day they were made under Castlereagh Council. It’s a fucking nightmare to keep track of this.
  4. A fully functioning ATM to serve the 16,000+ population would be handy.
  5. All shaps (retail units) in Dundonald Village that aren’t fast food shaps or sunbed shaps are to become fast food shaps and sunbed shaps with immediate effect.
  6. Dundonald Touring Caravan Park, which has never hosted a caravan in twenty-odd years, will be closed immediately and converted back into dangerous all-weather football pitches
  7. Compulsory underage drinking will recommence in the Moat Park effective immediately. The place has lost its fear factor at night times.
  8. The Park and Ride terminal will be renamed. It sounds like a ‘dogging’ spot.
  9. Xtravision will reopen. It’s too difficult to steal DVDs in ASDA.
  10. Indianaland will be renamed Northern Indianaland.
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