There was confusion in Belfast yesterday as new graffiti had hundreds of men demanding a night out with the boys.
‘Troops Out Now’ was found painted on at wall near a busy junction and the message soon spread to scores of men claiming to be oppressed and in dire need of a ‘proper sesh with the troops’.
‘I dunno who wrote it but they’re 100% spot on, so they are’, said married father-of-three ‘Bazza’ Thompson.
‘It’s been donkeys since the troops were out on the pish. No c*nt’s allowed out anymore, for f**k sake’, complained the 34-year-old.
Bazza, buoyed on by the sentiment of the graffiti, created a WhatsApp group entitled ‘Hallion Battalion on Tour’ and set about arranging a night out with his mates.
However, much to Bazza’s dismay, his calls for a piss-up were met with a lukewarm response, with many believing his proposal didn’t afford them ‘enough notice’ and would be ‘a hard-sell’ to their other-halves.
‘Bunch-a-fruits’ snapped Bazza, when asked how the plans were going.
‘All the excuses of the day I was hit with, like, ‘it’s my chile’s 1st birthday the next day mate’, – so what? As if the wee f**ker’s gonna remember if you were hangin’ or not?’.
Consequently, a furious, Bazza drove to the spot where the graffiti was and painted ‘Troops NOT ALLOWED out now’ beside it.
He was then set upon by an angry mob and is currently recovering in the Ulster Hospital after a complicated 4-hour procedure to have a paint brush removed from his rectum.