UTV weather presenter Louise Small has confirmed it will ‘pish down’ all summer long.
The Glengormley-native told viewers to brace themselves for some incredibly sh*te weather that will invariably ruin any future plans.
‘Take a good look out the windy there. You see that stinking rain? It’ll be like all f**king summer’, scowled Louise.
‘Locked up for 14 months for what? Just so it can pish down as soon as things start to open up again?’
‘I was supposed to be going to Cargo on Saturday night. Was looking forward to few Jägerbombs with the silver foxes Pamela Ballantine and Paul Clark. Now I’m gonna be stuck in the house again. Flip sake like’.
Small had some advise for anyone who was unfortunate enough not to be on the bru and might be exposed to the elements on their way home from work.
‘As soon as you leave your place of employment, you’ll be battered about any exposed areas of flesh with atmospheric water falling from the skies at speeds of up to 115mph’.
‘You’ll then spend your car or bus journey home in soaking clothes risking the onset of pneumonia and haemorrhoids’.
When asked if anyone in Northern Ireland should make ant plans whatsoever for the remainder of their lives, Small said:
‘Wouldn’t bother my hole til be honest with ye. Between the sh*te weather, security alerts and the Larne variant of the coronavirus, we’ll be lucky to see the daylight before 2050’.