Loyalists have retaliated against Gerry Adams’ and his United Ireland Easter Eggs by launching the all-new ‘Johnny’s Chocolate Orange’.
Yesterday, the Louth TD and former Sinn Fein president made one last desperate attempt to unify Ireland by releasing his ‘Uniting Ireland Easter Egg’.
The 72-year-old hoped to sway unionist opinion with a delicious new Easter egg made with chocolate containing milk from cattle which graze on the “green, grassy slopes of the Boyne”.
However, Loyalists have responded in kind by introducing a politically charged confectionary of their own.
Exiled former UDA boss Johnny ‘Mad Dog’ Adair took to Instagram yesterday to share the ‘Johnny’s Chocolate Orange’ with his 75 million followers.
“Alright, comrades”, said the small muscular terror boss in a video posted on the social media platform.
“It’s come to my attention the republican movement are waging a new war against the Protestant people of Ulster. A chocolatey war”.
“Loyalists will not stand idly by and watch their community be force fed Fenian Easter Eggs by Gerry Adams & co. And so, I bring to you my brethren, the delicious ‘Johnny’s Chocolate Orange’.
“This orange-shaped ball of chocolate is mixed with orange oil, the sweat of a Lambeg drummer, divided into 1690 segments and wrapped in a foil Union fleg.
“There’s some weight in it. So might come in handy for clauding at the peelers too’”.
When informed of Adair’s retaliatory chocolate orange, Adams said:
“Choccy ar la, ya b**tards”.