42-year-old Nick Kringle fractured a cervical vertebrae after falling from his loft while fetching Christmas decorations at his wife’s behest.
The plumber tried accessing his roof space by standing on a bannister below when he suddenly lost his footing and landed on his balding head.
40-year-old Christine Kringle immediately rushed to her husband’s aid as he lay writhing in agony on the couple’s landing.
While Nick was concerned about a lack of any feeling down the left-hand side of his body, Christine was convinced that his injuries could be treated using a magical white substance known as Sudocreme.
‘It’s a well-known medical fact that Sudocrem can cure everything from acne to COVID-19’, claimed Christine while rubbing another dollop of the stuff into her husband’s swollen neck.
‘There’s no way we’re gonna sit up there in A&E for five hours when there’s F all wrong with him’.
‘There’s nothing that can’t be cured with a wee bit of Sudocrem and a cold flannel on your forehead’, she insisted.
But despite Christine’s claims, Nick was convinced he was at least partially paralysed.
‘Help, I can’t feel my toes’, he sobbed.