4th man dies from boredom outside re-opened Primark

A Dundonald man tragically passed away this afternoon while waiting for his girlfriend outside Primark in Belfast City Centre.

Dom Bordman was found on a nearby public bench by shoppers who believed he was sleeping.

The 35-yr-old passed away while waiting on his girlfriend who was queuing to get into Primark which reopened its doors this morning for the first time since the lockdown started.

Forensics experts estimate that Mr Bordman was stood outside the shop for approximately 45 minutes before finally succumbing to the effects of boredom.

104496775_188061905933913_2044079040512995340_n
Father’s Day sorted by Fletcher Meats

Paramedics on the scene claimed it was the worst case of bored-boyfriend related death they’d seen since Christmas.

‘The poor b**tard ran out of phone data within 10 minutes of waiting outside the shop’, explained paramedic John Saint.

‘After that, the only thing to keep him entertained was the sound of the violumpet in the distance’.

His girlfriend,¬† Helen McMelter, told police she’d lost track of time after initially telling Dom she was ‘only nipping in for a quick nosy’.

‘I only wanted to see what jammies they had in for the kids’, recalled Helen.

‘I asked Dom if he wanted to come in with me but he said he’d rather stir fry his ballix’.

It takes the number of deaths outside Primark to 4 and police are advising women to leave their male companions at home.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s