Dundonald man Ed Hucknall obviously ‘gotta bitta sun yesterday’ according to several pass remarkable fuckers he bumped into this morning.
Ed, who normally sports a sickly white complexion, woke up looking as though he’d been near the epicentre of a nuclear blast.
The 38-yr-old is usually very careful whenever it comes to matters of the sun and lathers every square inch of his pasty flesh in a double-coat of Factor 50 lotion.
However, an inebriated Ed spent yesterday afternoon basking in the glorious sunshine without taking the necessary precautions.
Around 9pm last night, Ed noticed his forehead, nose and shoulders were beginning to turn pink. By 11pm the aforementioned body parts had turned a shade of scarlet.
Ed spent the remainder of the night writhing in agony while his girlfriend Jill smeared his burnt freckly skin in natural yoghurt.
And when Ed showed up at the shops this morning with a face like a well-smacked arse, sneering staff members queued up to rip the piss clean out of him.
‘I dunno why I did it?’, explained Ed.
‘I should’ve known an aul ‘Fanta Dick’ like me would end up burnt to a crisp’.
In other news, A&E departments across the province are bracing themselves for a busy week ahead as temperatures continue to soar.
Dozens of people have already been hospitalized with sun stroke; salmonella and alcohol poisoning, after a day of eating under cooked sausages and drinking Buckfast in 25 degree heat.