Dundonald man dies from cringe after reading old Facebook post

A Dundonald man has cringed himself to death after accidentally reading a Facebook status he posted back in 2011.

Marty Fied, 32, died from ‘pure cringe’ on his way to the Ulster Hospital after browsing his Facebook Memories while on the toilet this morning.

Paramedics worked on Mr Fied for several minutes but knew they were fighting a losing battle when they discovered his face had melted off from cringing so much.

It’s understood Mr Fied was reading an old long-winded status he’d written about the political situation in Northern Ireland at the time.

Dr Steph O’ Scope of the Specialist Drama Unit at the Ulster Hospital warned:

‘We would appeal to anyone who is thinking of revisiting their Facebook posts from years ago to stop and think about the consequences’.

‘People think they can handle it but this is cringing on a whole new level and the body can’t cope’.

‘Imagine walking in on your parents bucking? Well, multiply that by 1000 and you’re still nowhere near it’.

As well as the passing of Marty Fied, at least half a dozen other people who read their Facebook Memories today have gouged their eyes out’.

Charles Ray, took his own eyes out with an apple-corer this morning, told us:

‘I thought taking my eyes out would make it stop. But I can still see the post in my head. It was like walking in on your ma taking a shit – on your da’.

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