MoT centres fail MoT

MoT centres across Northern Ireland have ‘failed their bloody MoT’, it has emerged.

MoT centres were left in long-queues this morning as a grumpy ballix in blue overalls slowly carried out tests in order to determine whether the centres were MoT worthy.

One-by-one the MoT centres were told they’d failed and ordered to remain closed until they’d carried out a series of costly repairs.

It could take weeks, or possibly months, to carry out the repairs to defective lifts at MoT centres in Northern Ireland.

As a result,  MoT tests for cars and light vehicles across the province have been suspended with immediate effect.

Road users who turned up for their MoT this morning fully in the knowledge their car would fail rejoiced.

‘F**king yeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo’, howled ‘Big Bumpy’ McBride, the 42-yr-old owner of a 2001 Vauxhall Astra with the arse hanging out of it.

‘There was more chance of me passing a breathalyzer on the way down here than that aul heap of shite passing an MoT’, he slurred.

‘Oh mummy, praise the Lord’, squealed the 32-yr-old owner of a Fiat 500 with eyelashes on the headlights, Helen McMelter.

‘There’s been more litres of botox put in my bake than oil in thon car since I got it’, she cackled while puffing on a Sterling Dual.

Meanwhile, Paul Duffy, chief executive of the agency, said each of the 55 lifts could cost £30,000 to £40,000 to replace.

‘Our hearts f**king bleed ye c**ts yiz’, cried the Northern Ireland population in unison.

 

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