MLAs wish the weekend would just hurry the f**k up already

Stormont MLAs wish the weekend would just hurry the f**k up already, according to reports. 

The shock revelation comes just two days after the elected representatives returned to work after a brief three-year sabbatical.

It’s understood the MLAs are looking forward to ‘a wee break’ after a grueling day & a half’s work.

‘Could this week go any slower?’, yawned Arlene Foster while wiping the sleep from her eye.

‘When I woke up this morning I could’ve swore it was Wednesday. I even wrote ‘Happy Hump Day’ on the Stormont group chat. I feel like a right dick’, confessed Michelle O’Neill.

Naomi Long simply Tweeted: ‘F**k me, is it Friday yet? This week’s pure dragging in like’.

According to our sources, talks regarding the government’s offer of money to implement the new Stormont deal were placed on hold in favour of discussing MLA’s annual leave instead.

It’s alleged a huge row broke out when Arlene Foster called first dibs on the July fortnight.

A Stormont insider told us:

‘Oh it was a pure geg in here this morning’.

‘Big Arlene shouted ‘beggsy the July fortnight’ and the next thing Michelle O’Neill went absolutely ‘Britney 2007′ on her’.

‘Michelle said it wasn’t fair cos she wanted to f**k off to Donegal those two weeks and Big Arlene always gets in there first’.

Meanwhile, Naomi Long is understood to be booking a half-day to watch the new episode of Power.

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