Julian Simmons follows Gwyneth by releasing a candle which smells like his knob

Ever wondered what Julian Simmons’ penis smells like? No me neither. 

But for anyone who’s spent a sleepless night pondering what scent the continuity announcer’s knob might have, well, the wait is over.

Northern Irish A-list celeb Julian Simmons has followed in the footsteps of Gwyneth Paltrow by releasing a candle that smells like his lad.

With the simplistic name, ‘This here smells like my d*ck’,  the candle contains notes of citrusy bergamot, Damask rose and Tayto Cheese ‘n Onion.

The website describes the fragrance as ‘sexy, beautifully unexpected and pure boggin’.

The candle (which retails at £1) has already sold out in trendy high street boutiques such as B&M Bargains, Home Bargains and The Range.

Julian Simmons, real name Julian Simmons, rose to fame in the 1980s when he started talking like a millbeg about Coronation Street storylines on UTV.

Since then the colourful presenter has become as synonymous with Northern Irish television as news bulletins about shootings or shows about rambling in the countryside which are f**king sh*te.

The 67-year-old sent out a Tweet this morning announcing the launch of the product which read:

‘Make sure ye go out & buy my new candle ya buck eejits. It’s called ‘This Here Smells Like My D*ck’. Available nai in shaps that sell cheap pruck’.

It’s understood the television presenter could be launching a second larger candle called, ‘This Here One Smells Like My Hole’.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s