Facebook Becomes House of Commons

Thousands of people logged onto social media this morning to discover that all of their friends have become political and economic experts.

People woke up to the shocking news that the Conservatives had won a landslide victory, even though the media (who very rarely get anything wrong – except for the last general elections result, the Brexit result, the Scottish Independence result and the US Presidential election result) told us it would never happen!

Wee ‘Mental’ Sammy from down the road who voted to leave the EU posted:

‘Absolutely brilliant. Britain is finally gonna gain it’s independence! This is what it must’ve felt like for the rest of the planet that we colonized’.

Dee Jones from Mersey Street was very concerned about the strength of the pound in the wake of the result:

He said, ‘I’m headin to Santa Ponsa with the lads next month and I haven’t got my euros yet. Does this mean I’ll have more or less money to spend on San Miguel and hookers?’

However, all the arguments went over Big Alison from Dundonald’s head.

She questioned, ‘I’m pure confused so I am. Are Norn Iron staying in the Euros? Will I have to move house? I wish ta f**k they’d said months ago before I put that new kitchen in’.

Meanwhile, PM Boris Johnson has vehemently denied accusations that he said he would ‘get Brexit done’.

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