Dundonald woman rubs Sudocreme on husband’s broken neck

A Dundonald woman tried to mend her husband’s broken neck using a medicated cream aimed primarily at the treatment of nappy rash, it has emerged.

42-year-old Nick Kringle fractured a cervical vertebrae after falling from his loft while fetching Christmas decorations at his wife’s behest.

The plumber tried accessing his roof space by standing on a bannister below when he suddenly lost his footing and landed on his balding head.

40-year-old Christine Kringle immediately rushed to her husband’s aid as he lay writhing in agony on the couple’s landing.

While Nick was concerned about a lack of any feeling down the left-hand side of his body, Christine was convinced that his injuries could be treated using a magical white substance known as Sudocrem.

‘It’s a well-known medical fact that Sudocrem can cure everything from acne to Bieber Fever’, claimed Christine while rubbing another dollop of the stuff into her husband’s swollen neck.

‘There’s no way we’re gonna sit up there in A&E for five hours when there’s F all wrong with him’.

‘There’s nothing that can’t be cured with a wee bit of Sudocrem and a cold flannel on your forehead’, she insisted.

But despite Christine’s claims, Nick was convinced he was at least partially paralysed.

‘Help, I can’t feel my toes’, he sobbed.

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