Barra Best, the world’s sexiest bald ginger person, has called time on his day job after a recent surge in the number of amateur weather watchers on Facebook, it has emerged.
Best, a smouldering hunk of burning ginger love, made the announcement outside Belfast City Hall as the cold October rain ‘skelpt’ him across the hairless cranium.
‘It is with enormous sadness and an even more enormous manhood, I must inform you I’m retiring’, wept a disconsolate Best.
‘With so many experts on Facebook providing us all with constant weather updates, it would appear my sexual-self has become surplus to requirements at Broadcast House’.
When quizzed about what the future might hold for him, Best replied:
‘I’ve had offers to model, I know I’d be a success at it – but it wouldn’t be fair on the rest of the physically inferior specimens’.
A BBC spokesperson added:
‘We’d like to wish Barra success in whatever he does next, it just won’t be the f**king weather for BBC’.
‘Why would we waste any more money on him when wee Sylvia who lives in Divis can tell us via Facebook when it’s ‘parfil warm’ or if it’d ‘founder ye’.
Meanwhile, Stormont has confirmed it is completely unprepared for the storm which happens every year under a slightly more ridiculous name.
A spokesperson said, ‘We regret to announce we have absolutely fuck all provisions in place to deal with Storm Larry or whatever the f**k it’s called’.
‘Also, we would like to take this opportunity to encourage anyone with a car which is close to breaking down to make a completely unnecessary journey’.