The same government who spent 3 million pounds on custard creams believe saving 22,000 jobs isn’t the best use of the taxpayer’s money, according to reports.
Thomas Cook, whose roots go back to 1841, fell into liquidation after last-ditch talks to raise £200M required to keep the company afloat failed.
Transport Minister Grant Shapps held a meeting with senior advisors on Sunday night, during which they ate a fine selection of biscuits including Bourbon Creams and Ginger Nuts.
But after extensive talks and a lot of nice biccies, it was deemed in the best interests of the British public that 155,000 of its citizens should be left stranded in airports across the globe.
‘After careful consideration, we decided not to bail out Thomas Cook’, explained Shapps.
When asked why, he responded, ‘Because it’s not a bank’.
With a government bailout no longer an option, the onus was placed on private investors, bondholders and the banks to come up with the money.
‘F**k that’, said one investor.
The decision to allow the company to fold has left 22,000 people without a job, including 9,000 in the UK alone.
It’s not all doom and gloom for employees though as some top Thomas Cook executives managed to pay themselves £30M in salaries and bonuses whilst presiding over the company’s demise during the past 5 years.
‘I’d like to apologise to all our employees’, sobbed Chief Executive Peter Fankhauser while drying his tears with some of the bank notes from the £2.9M bonus he paid himself.