Fat men in skin-tight rugby tops spotted in Belfast pubs

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Fat fellas in ill-fitting rugby jerseys have been spotted in numerous bars across Belfast today, according to reports. 

The men, believed to be in their 30s & 40s, would be the type of dickheads who played for your school rugby team only older.

Hundreds of the burly ball-bags were seen walking down Great Victoria Street this morning wearing an assortment of replica international rugby shirts.

Onlookers heard the men shout words like ‘banter’ and ‘lightweight’ before entering various drinking establishments along the road.

It’s believed the appearance of these arseholes may have something to do with the Rugby World Cup which kicked-off in Japan this morning.

Barfly Toby Jugg (71) was enjoying his liquid breakfast when around a dozen ‘rugger lads’ invaded his local.

‘I was reading my paper using my glasses with the one leg when suddenly the bar was filled with fat ballixes in skin-tight rugby shirts’, recalls Toby.

‘This one particular f**ker with his collar turned up was cupping his mouth and shouting: ‘Connor, get the lads a round in you bloody cheapskate’.

‘Of course, every one of the pricks had to have a different pint of some obscure craft ale’.

One of the men, Simon Charlesworth, whose Facebook bio reads: ‘Part-time consultant gynecologist – Full-time banter merchant’, said:

‘Always top bants on the agenda when all the lads are out watching the old egg getting slung around’.

‘I probably should be out in Japan myself right now but I tore my cruciate playing against Inst in the schools cup in ’98’. The lads will tell you themselves’.

The rugger dicks are expected to frequent your local for the next few weeks but if rugby isn’t your thing, why not wait til next summer’s European Championships, when tracksuit-clad football fans will hurl expletives then pint glasses at the televisions.



One thought on “Fat men in skin-tight rugby tops spotted in Belfast pubs

  1. Absolutely pishin masel at this. I’m the son of a carrickfergus man and here in Scotland you were only an “egg chaser” if ye were s###e at fitba. Hilarious, keep them coming!😂😂


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