Children wept in each other’s arms in playgrounds across the province this morning as they shared horror stories about their summer holidays.
Thousands of kids in over-sized school uniforms broke down as they recounted their harrowing experiences over the past nine weeks.
Little Harry McMelter sobbed uncontrollably in the arms of his friend, Toby, while describing a trip to the Ulster Folk and Transport Museum.
‘All I wanted to do was learn a few new Fortnite dance moves but my ma and da insisted on dragging us up to Cultra for the day’, wailed the 8-year-old.
‘Not one of those old houses had a USB port. No wonder they all died in their 40s. Probably through f**king boredom’.
Meanwhile, Toby was still having flashbacks from his trip to the beach.
‘When my ma said she was taking me to the beach, I started fantasizing about Miami or the Anse Source D’argent in the Seychelles’, bawled the 7-year-old.
‘Next thing I know we’re pulling up in Millisle for f**k sake’.
‘Lost a tooth on this sugary stick-shaped thing called ‘rock’ and was force-fed purple seaweed by my granny til I boked’.
‘Never again. Put my name down for summer school next year. I’m not spending another two months in the house with those moany melters’, he added.