Dundonald seagull winged for anti-social behaviour

A SEAGULL in his 20s has been shot in both wings in a “paramilitary-style” attack in Dundonald last night.

Police are currently at the scene in Ardmore Avenue in Ballybeen Estate.

An ambulance service spokesman said: “We received the report of a male seagull having been shot through the wings in an alleyway in Ardmore Avenue.

“We sent two crews to the scene and he was transported to Vets4pets.”

Last night’s shocking attack is a chilling echo of the violence which was once common in Dundonald during a dark period known as ‘The Difficulties’.

“Winging” was often carried out as punishment by the paramilitaries, the aim being to cause maximum pain and damage to unruly birds, leaving them unable to fly again.

The victim, 22-year-old Steven ‘Steeky’ Seagull, is alleged to have engaged in anti-social behaviour such as stealing chips out of children’s hands and shitting on freshly washed cars.

However, squawking from his bed in Vets4pets, Steven told us: “Did I f**k steal any chile’s chips!! Sure I was just in the nest watching the soaps with my ma!.”

Steven’s version of events was verified by his mother, Carol. She said:

“My wee Steeky wouldn’t hurt a fly. He was only away til the shaps til get me a pint’a milk and those dirty Bs shat him in both wings”.

A group calling itself the DLA has claimed responsibility.

A statement on behalf of the organisation read: “The people of Dundanal are fed up with yousens crappin’ all over our windies and stealin’ our children’s chips and ice-cream. Let lis be a warning til the rest of you shite hawks out there. UPPA DLA”.

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