Local fella must have got a bit of sun yesterday

Ginger man Ed Hucknall ‘must’ve been out in the sun yesterday’ according to several of his pass remarkable co-workers who saw him this morning.

Ed, who normally sports a sickly white complexion, arrived at work this morning looking as though he’d been near the epicentre of a nuclear blast.

The Dundonald man is usually very careful whenever it comes to matters of the sun and lathers every square inch of his pasty flesh in a double-coat of Factor 50 lotion.

However, the 25-year-old carpet fitter inexplicably spent yesterday afternoon basking in the glorious sunshine without taking the necessary precautions.

Around 9pm last night, Ed noticed his forehead, nose and shoulders were beginning to turn pink. By 11pm the aforementioned body parts had turned scarlet.

Ed spent the remainder of the night writhing in agony while his girlfriend Jill smeared his burnt freckly skin in natural yoghurt.

60304331_2409015712494983_6759442551469506560_n
This week’s offer from Fletcher Meats

And when Ed showed up for work this morning with a face like a well-smacked arse, sneering work colleagues queued up to rip the piss clean out of him.

‘I dunno why I did it?’, said Ed.

‘It rained the whole month of June and I was just glad to see the sun come out’.

‘I should’ve known an aul ‘Fanta Dick’ like me would end up burnt to a crisp’.

In other news, A&E departments across the province are bracing themselves for a busy weekend as temperatures continue to soar.

Dozens of people have already been hospitalized with sun stroke; salmonella and alcohol poisoning, after a day of eating under cooked sausages and drinking Buckfast in 25 degree heat.

DLA Tee
Get a DLA t-shirt 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s