A young Love Island hopeful has revealed why he took the drastic step of having his brain removed in a bid to appear on the latest series of the reality show.
Brian Surgeoner (23) underwent the complicated nine-hour procedure hoping the operation would bolster his chances of featuring on the current season of the hit series.
Super-fan Brian revealed how he unsuccessfully auditioned for the last series after concerns were raised about his ability to string full sentences together.
‘Me very confident me be on show now me have no frontal lobes’, slurred Brian while heavily drooling into a bedpan.
The 23-year-old from Belfast recalls the rigorous testing that hopefuls were put through as they competed to perform on the reality show.
‘They make us do four piece jigsaw of apple and put right shape in right hole’, he recounted while foaming at the mouth.
For anyone whose IQ is higher than their Sky bill and may not have watched the show before, Love Island is ITV’s latest revival of an exhausted reality format.
‘It’s boy meets girl, boy dumps girl, girl snogs ¬another boy, girl dumps other boy, boy gets back with girl, girl dumps boy, only to be dumped by boy, who gets back with other girl – and in the end they all get aggressive yeast infections’, said a show producer.
Brian’s brother, Ryan, is also on the waiting list for an NHS brain removal as he also hopes to appear on the show.
Ryan, who refers to himself as Ryan ‘the brand’ Surgeoner, has over 120 followers on Instagram and spends his days in front of the mirror practicing expressions such as, ‘mugged off’ and ‘pied’.
‘By the end of the series, most of the women on the show have a higher sperm count than me’, beamed Ryan while buttoning up his white jeans.