Queens student undergoes operation to have GAA shirt amputated

A local university student is in a stable condition after undergoing an operation to have his Gaelic Football jersey amputated.

The 20-year-old man is recovering well in the Royal Victoria Hospital after the complicated nine hour procedure.

Finbar McCulchie was rushed to hospital yesterday morning after discovering his Antrim GAA shirt had become fused to his flesh.

The garment attached itself to Mr McCulchie’s body after he’d worn it every single day since last September.

Speaking from his hospital bed, Mr McCulchie told us, ‘The surgeon told me there’d be some permanent scarring but he managed to remove around 97% of my Gaelic jersey’.

Lying in an adjacent bed was 37-year-old football fan Jock Johnston who’d recently undergone a similar procedure to have his Celtic FC shorts removed after wearing them for fourteen consecutive days during an all-inclusive holiday in Santa Ponza.

Mr Johnston, who was left with 78 stitches, mistakenly believed he’d avoided injury after slipping on the club’s away strip at the end of the first week.

Dr Steph O’Scope of the Specialist Drama Unit warned about the dangers of wearing garments which alert others to your tribal allegiances for prolonged periods:

‘This is a very serious matter which is stretching resources to the limits’.
‘We estimate that at least 10,000 flute band members will need their uniforms amputated by the end of August’. 

 

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