Parents rejoice as two week nightmare finally ends

Parents across Northern Ireland this morning are celebrating the end of a two week nightmare commonly referred to as the ‘Easter Holidays’.

There were high-fives among pyjama-clad women at school gates across the province after they frogmarched their spawn into the care of trained professionals.

The beleaguered parents were overheard discussing the various ways they planned to spend the next few blissful child-free hours.

‘Thank f**k it’s over’, wept mother of two, Danielle Freeman.

‘Only somebody without any kids would come up with the idea of two weeks off for Easter’.

After dropping her children off this morning, Danielle headed straight for the nearest Winemark.

‘I’m gonna lie on my hole, watch Diagnosis Murder and polish off these West Coast Cooler Rose’.

This week’s offer at Fletcher Meats

Her husband, Morgan, was equally relieved after spending the past two weeks pretending to be Darth Vader while having plastic sword fights with their five-year-old son Toby.

‘I don’t think I could’ve taken one more afternoon of that wee ballix putting on a fake American accent and whacking me across the knuckles’.

‘I think I’m gonna hit the Shebeen and do some shots. The world’s my oyster’, he added.

However, their son, Toby, was equally as relieved to be returning to school.

‘I dunno what they’re complaining about? They may as well have handed custody over to the f**king iPad’.

‘And you should’ve seen my ma at the school this morning, sobbing and waving at me like I was leaving for a tour of Iraq’.

‘She wasn’t getting on like that when she dropped me at granny’s so she could head to Alibi on Saturday night’.

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