A Belfast man has revealed his ordeal after taking his family to a United States military prison which he mistakenly believed was a water park, it has emerged.
John ‘Horse’ McCracken had promised his wife and two children the ‘family holiday of a lifetime’ after his drunken behaviour spoiled a two week break to Benidorm last year.
At the behest of his children, McCracken began pricing US summer camps and thought he’d struck gold when he stumbled upon Guantanamo Bay.
The 43-year-old taxi driver thought the Cuban based detention camp was a Disney-type holiday resort and even told friends he ‘couldn’t wait to try the waterboarding’.
McCracken told us: ‘I was on the aul internet pricing halidays when I stumbled across Guantanamo Bay’.
‘When they said waterboarding I thought they meant like surfin’ and shit. How the f**k did I know some poor ballix with a flannel round his bake was being drowned?’
When McCracken and his family arrived outside the camp wearing their Bermuda shorts and goggles they got a nasty surprise.
‘Absolute f**kin’ sh*thole. Looked like The Maze or somethin’, recalled McCracken.
The family’s dream holiday turned into a nightmare when McCracken was taken into custody by the CIA after his repeated internet searches for Guantanamo Bay flagged up with US Homeland Security.
Agents swarmed around McCracken’s Travel Lodge motel suite then took him to a secure location for interrogation.
The CIA operatives used various methods of torture but no matter what they tried they couldn’t shut him up.
He added, ‘The next thing I know, I’m being bundled into the back of a car by a couple of big Yanks who looked like the Men In Black’.
‘They said they were taking me to see MI5’.
‘And I was like, ‘sure we only got the new kitchen in last October?’.