Study finds 9 out of 10 relationships built upon disturbing Netflix documentaries

New research finds that 90% of modern day relationships centre around watching some pretty disturbing shit on Netflix. 

A study by Dundonald Looniversity revealed that couples prefer to spend their leisure time together watching documentaries about serial killers, child abduction or rape than any other activity.

In fact, 7 out of 10 couples confessed that a fondness for shows about graphic sexual violence may be the only remaining thing they have in common with their partner.

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35-yr-old Ted Avery and his partner Rose spend most evenings together huddled on their sofa glued to the latest distressing Netflix documentary.

‘Just got a text from our Rose asking if we’re watching the new Maddie McCann one the night’, said Ted.

‘Really looking forward to this one. Hopefully they go into gory detail about what happens to abducted children and trafficking’.

‘Hopefully lots of footage of kids screaming and begging for help. The more unsettling the better’, he beamed.

His girlfriend Rose was equally as enthused about Netflix’s latest attempt to profiteer from other people’s misery.

‘I know it was Gerry & Kate before I even watch the thing’, said Rose with a knowing nod.

‘Guilty as sin the pair of them. Imagine drugging that poor child just so they could have a few hours peace’, she said while squirting 5mls of Calpol from a syringe into her infant son’s mouth.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Study finds 9 out of 10 relationships built upon disturbing Netflix documentaries

  1. Dear Sir/Madam

    I have really enjoyed reading the DLA for some considerable time and think the content is very funny. However, I am disappointed that you have decided to include Maddie McCann as a feature of your latest offering. This is definitely not “funny” and I think it should be taken down at the earliest opportunity – human decency and common sense dictates that such subjects should not be used on open and public social media sites. Think of the grieving parents a bit more please.

    Regards

    Harris Carruthers

    Sent from my iPad

    Like

    1. It’s called satire and if I have to explain it then either a) I’m not very good at it or b) you don’t get it. Anyway, the article does not in any way poke fun at the disappearance of Maddie but instead examines Netflix’s glorification of hideous crimes and the public lapping it up. I’m afraid I cannot remove articles because one person does not grasp the underlying message. I’m sure you’ll understand, I hope.

      Like

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