Local boy pondering different ways he could make tonight’s dining experience a living fucking hell for everyone.

A local boy has spent the past hour pondering all the different ways he could make tonight’s dining experience a living fucking hell for everyone.

Jacob Thompson usually ruins mealtimes at home with his unruly and unreasonable behaviour, which includes: refusing to eat; repeatedly falling off his chair and spilling juice.

However, the 3 1/2-year-old wannabe wrestler plans to shake things up this evening with some new disruptive and attention-seeking antics.

‘Gotta freshen things up a little and keep my parents on their toes’, said Jacob while sticking a Lego brick up the dog’s arse.

‘I normally start off by demanding a different plate; a different cup; different cutlery. Then I’ll ask for sauce. Then I’ll tell them that they put too much sauce on my plate. So that’s me onto my third different plate’.

‘Sometimes, halfway through dinner I’ll take myself off for a shite, then I’ll call for assistance when I need my arse cleaned. I usually reserve that tactic when they’re eating a meat and gravy based meal’.

‘Last night the vein on the side of my Dad’s head was very bulbous. I think if I can make him mad enough tonight that thing will burst’, he added.

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We caught up with Jacob’s father, Frank (37), who was sat outside the family home in his car enjoying the last few moments of child-free peace.

‘Sometimes I pretend I’ve to work late just so I don’t have to eat with my child’, confessed Frank.

‘I can’t remember the last time I ate a warm meal. It’s been at least three years anyway’.

‘I spend the majority of the meal watching him climb up on his chair and fall off. If I’ve to say ‘get up’ or ‘get down’ one more time I’m gonna change my name to James Brown’, he added.

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