Barra Best, the world’s sexiest bald ginger person, has been made redundant by the BBC and replaced by some amateur weather watchers on Facebook, it has emerged.
Best, a smouldering hunk of burning ginger love, made the announcement outside Belfast City Hall as the cold winds ‘skelpt’ him across the hairless cranium.
‘It is with enormous sadness and an even more enormous manhood, I must inform you I’ve been sacked’, wept a disconsolate Best.
‘With so many experts on Facebook providing us all with constant weather updates, it would appear my sexual-self has become surplus to requirements at Broadcast House’.
When quizzed about what the future might hold for him, Best replied:
‘I’ve had offers to model, I know I’d be a success at it but it wouldn’t be fair on the rest of the physically inferior specimens’.
A BBC spokesperson added:
‘We’d like to wish Barra success in whatever he does next, it just won’t be the fucking weather for BBC’.
‘There’s no need to pay Fanta features 100k per year when wee Sylvia who lives in Divis can tell us via Facebook when it’s snowing, raining, ‘parfil warm’ or if it’d ‘founder ye’.
Meanwhile, Stormont has confirmed it is completely unprepared for the one inch of snow which may settle for an hour before melting, even though it has snowed since the beginning of recorded history.
One MLA said, ‘We regret to announce we have absolutely fuck all provisions in place to deal with the snow which we’ve known might fall since last winter’.
‘Expect massive traffic disruption and pensioners sliding about like new born foals on an ice rink’.
‘Also, we would like to take this opportunity to encourage anyone with a car which is close to breaking down to make a completely unnecessary journey’.