A 33-year-old Belfast man was arrested this morning after ‘stating the fucking obvious’, it has emerged.
Michael Kettley was seized by the PSNI shortly after posting, ‘it’s snowing’, on his Facebook page.
The bloodied man was dragged kicking and screaming into a waiting Landrover where he was given ‘a good hiding’, according to eyewitnesses.
‘We can all see it’s fucking snowing’, said a PSNI spokeswoman.
‘Anyone with half-functioning eyes and windows is fully aware of the tons of frozen crystalline water falling from the skies above’.
‘It’s not as if we’re all wondering what it is and eagerly awaiting his fucking amateur weather report complete with a snowflake emoji’.
‘Let this be a warning to any other wanker who’s thinking of acting Barra Best this morning’, she added.
Speaking from his cell in Maghaberry, Mr Kettley said, ‘This is a breach of my human rights. I’ll be taking this to the courts and you can rest assured… hold on, what’s that I see through my cell window… is it?… it is… IT’S SNOWING!!!’
Meanwhile evil Mark Zuckerberg spoke of the enormous strain that’s been placed upon Facebook’s servers as hordes of arseholes post countless photos of the snow.
‘We canny hold her, she’s gonna blow’, said the CEO whilst fanning away the smoke with a wad of $100 bills.