PSNI seize large quantity of ‘Yellaman’

‘Yellaman’ with a street value of £22.50 has been seized by police in a property in Ballycastle, it has emerged.

A PSNI spokesperson said: ‘A 55-year-old female and a 26-year-old male were arrested at a property on possession of a Class A Sweet with intent to supply’.

Yellowman is a highly addictive substance sold in non-standard blocks and chips.

It’s produced when ‘fuckin’ mental’ amounts of golden syrup and sugar mixture are heated at high temperatures until the product reaches what is known as the ‘the hard-crack’.

It first saw widespread use in primarily impoverished bucket and spade shit-holes such as Millisle during the 1980s.

Mass-production and wholesale distribution of the product is the responsibility of the notorious Ould Lammas Cartel based in Ballycastle.

The number of people becoming hooked on the chewy toffee-textured drug has skyrocketed in recent months, with some politicians calling it a ‘pandemic’.

Just yesterday, a half-naked man was found in the toilet of a Ballycastle chippy by staff after having OD’d on ‘yella racks’.

The amount of addicts requiring dental treatment is putting an unprecedented strain on local services. Local dentist Phil Inngs told us:

‘They’re coming in off their faces on ‘Yellaman’ with their teeth mangled. They make the guests on the Jeremy Kyle show look like fuckin’ Colgate models’.

‘To offset the cost, we had to hike the price up for our one client who actually pays for his dental treatment’.

‘He only came in for a check-up this morning and had to apply for a Wonga loan to cover the bill’.

A PSNI spokesperson added:

“We will continue to proactively tackle the issue of illegal tooth-breaking sweets.

“I would appeal to anyone who is aware of any individual involved in the supply of ‘Yellaman’, ‘Blackpool Rack’ or ‘Highland Toffee’ to contact their police on 101.

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