As Saturday’s boxing bout between Carl Frampton and Josh Warrington fast approaches, a Belfast Boxerciser claims he knows what’s going through Frampton’s mind.
Wee Davy Brawler, from Vionville Rise beside Tullycarnet, knows all too well about the sacrifices and dedication the sport requires after attending a couple of Boxercise classes at his local gym.
‘You have to prepare yourself mentally for a proper dig like this. Wee Carl will know what I’m talking about’, said Davy while injecting his left buttock with an anabolic steroid compound.
The 34-year-old described his own gruelling training regimen and strict diet which he’s been adhering to:
‘I get up about 11am and roll a fuck-off spliff. I take Sasha (his beloved German Shepherd) to the park for a run and a shite. Then it’s straight down the gym for a bitta pad work’.
‘I’ve had to switch from fried to boiled rice with my Salted Chilli Chicken from the Chinkers. And I’ve started drinking diet Coke with my forty ouncer of Vod. It’s not been easy but these are the sacrifices the likes of myself and The Jackal have to make’.
And Davy’s not the only one who can empathize with WBO interim featherweight Champion Frampton.
Thousands of men across the province are looking forward to getting hammered and saturating social media with their expert analysis of the fight.
34-year-old Barney Tumble, usually takes to Facebook to offer his opinion on where a fighter is going wrong, despite the fact his last physical confrontation with anyone took place at the sand pit in nursery school.
He said, ‘As soon as I have a few beers and the fight is on, I start to play over in my head the brutal bout I took part in thirty years ago when little Jimmy Spence wrecked my sandcastle and then I pushed him’.
Rodney Roughhouse (27) is dreading watching the fight with his best mate Basher Stewart.
He told us, ‘The only reason I’m going round there is because he has BT Sport’.
‘All he says is ‘Did ya see lat ler dig he hit yer mawn ler?’
‘I feel like saying ‘No every time it looks as though someone is about to land a punch I close my eyes – you dick’.