Moat Park bridge reapplies for drinking licence

The old foot bridge in the moat park looks set to reapply for its drinking license after an online petition was started by concerned local residents, according to reports.

The bridge was once a thriving night spot where local teens would drink to excess before vomiting where they stood.

Big Davy Weir, 47, from Morven Park is concerned that his 15-year-old son is missing out on some of the greatest nights of his life because drinking alcohol in the Moat Park has been banned by Lisburn & Castlereagh Council.

He said, ‘I’m growin’ increasingly concerned about our Jordan. His jeans are so friggin’ tight they luk like they’ve been vacuum formed around his legs’.

‘He spends his Friday nights in his room poutin like a duck, takin selfies and stickin lem online’.

‘I ‘member when I was his age a Friday night involved sitting at the bridge and tankin’ 5 tins of Royal Dutch and a battle’a Old E’.

‘Then we’d meet up with la rest a la skinheads and knock seventeen shades of shite out of each other. Lose wore la days’.

Neil Stewart, 35, who spent the better of the 90s sitting on the wall, complained:

‘It’s an absolute disgrace that the bridge is being used solely as a pedestrian overpass leese days.

‘Kids are missin out big time. I member we used to bring an aul beat-bax down ‘n listen til a bitta Danny Dee wile palishin aff a crate a Orange WKD’.

‘If ya were lucky ya went home with yer finger nails smellin like you’d munched a multi-pack a Scampi Fries’.

Gregg Martin spent every night Friday at the Moat Bridge until its closure around ten years ago.

He suggested, ‘Drinking at the Moat Bridge should be made compulsory. Kids these days are too busy trying to get into university but life’s real education happened here at the bridge’.

‘Do ya know many 14-year-olds nowadays that cud hold two battered sausages with one hawnd and fair dig someone from Tullycarnet with the other? No way ya wud’.

 

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