Complete arsehole puts her Christmas tree up

A Belfast woman has only gone and put her fucking Christmas tree up, it has emerged.

Christine Kringle from East Belfast made her husband, Nick, go up into the loft to fetch the tree before he went to work this morning.

The irritatingly cheerful woman then spent the morning turning her living room into ‘some sort of fucking winter wonderland’ according to husband Nick.

‘It’s not even Halloween yet for Christ’s sake’, moaned Nick.

‘We’d both agreed after last year’s fiasco that she’d wait until the start of December. But oh no, she was busting my balls about getting up into the loft for that tree as soon as I opened my eyes this morning’, he added.

Then Christine nipped down to B&M Bargains to get herself some Christmas lights and a ‘Santa, Please Stop Here’ sign for the front garden.

Officials are concerned that the sight of Christine’s tree through her living room window could spark a host of copycat tree-erections amongst neighbours who couldn’t see green shite.

‘That’s it, I’ll have my Albert up in the loft tonight’, declared Christine’s nosy bastard of a neighbour, Agnes.

‘I just love this time of year’, beamed Christine.

‘I’ve already got all my Christmas shopping in, finished that ages ago so I did. I try to get a wee thing every month and then when it comes to November, December time I can just relax’, she added.

Husband Nick was less enthused though. ‘That’ll be the house lit up like Blackpool illuminations for two full months. That reminds me, I may go and stick that magnet on the meter again’.

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