A resolution to Brexit’s thorniest issue has been found after the UK and EU agreed to put the infamous ‘Travelator’ on the Irish Border.
After a round of crucial talks between European leaders, it was decided that the gruelling obstacle from television’s ‘Gladiators’ was a preferred alternative to a hard border.
Delegations from all those involved in talks emerged from the summit with their arms aloft after resolving the contentious issue.
‘After hearing that a hard border could potentially kick-off World War 3, we decided that the Travelator was a far better option’, explained Theresa May whilst attempting the Swish dance.
‘Anyone hoping to enter the UK will have to conquer the moving walkway’.
‘We believe this will be particularly effective in keeping out the fat, the disabled and elderly who would undoubtedly be a huge drain on the NHS’, added May.
It was also confirmed that 86-year-old Scottish referee John Anderson from the Gladiators television series will be brought out of retirement to oversee any immigration attempts.
‘Anyone hoping to legally enter the UK will not only have to scale the Travelator but must do so whilst being pursued by Gladiator villain Wolf’, explained May.
‘Oh yes, you’ll be chased up a steep escalator by a growling man in Lycra with a balding soft-perm. That’s how hard it’ll be to enter the UK now’, chuckled the Prime Minister.
‘Awooooogaaaah’, shouted John Fashanu