A Dundonald woman can’t wait to put her pyjamas on and burn an overpriced scented candle tonight, it has emerged.
Helen McMelter announced the news in a Facebook post shortly after 10am this morning which read:
‘Looking forward to sticking my new jammies on and lighting my Pomegranate Noir Home Jo Malone Candle the night. Bliss’.
Helen is just one of many people these days who are paying upwards £50 for a lump of smelly wax in a jar.
‘Yankee Candles are out the fuckin’ windy’, explained Helen.
‘I wouldn’t insult my nostrils with any of that aul cheap shite’, she added.
Upon returning home tonight, Helen will light her new candle with a wooden splint then spend the next 45 minutes trying to capture the perfect Insta snap of the fragranced block of wax.
Once she’s acquired the right photo, Helen will post it online accompanied by a dozen wanky hashtag slogans about rainy nights in with her candle.
Scientists at Dundonald Looniversity believe that the Jo Malone candle is often bought in conjunction with crushed-velvet furniture and pink gin.