Local melter sets up third new Facebook profile this year

A 24 karat gold ‘melter’ has gone and set himself up another new Facebook profile, it has emerged.

Hundreds of unsuspecting people woke this morning to a new friend request from local ‘balloon-head’ Dave McDramagh.

Every six months or so, the 37-year-old deactivates his Facebook account only to re-emerge several weeks later with a new profile under a slightly different pseudonym.

The former Herbal Life Rep, Scentsy Consultant and Crypto Currency Trader has appeared under aliases such as: Davy McD; Dee McDee & DramaDave.

Dave’s biannual meltdowns normally conclude with a long-winded Facebook rant claiming ‘this is the last you’ll hear from me’.

However, after getting everyone’s hopes up, Dave reappears several months later with a new Facebook page and a fake inspirational quotation from Tom Hardy.

The reasons for Dave’s cyber sabbaticals vary but we caught up with part-time sales assistant and full-time nosy bastard, Leanne Tattler, who used to ride Dave’s brother.

‘Well ni, let me see. I fink he was being chased by the CSA so he had to delete his old Facebook. Then he was gonna get kneecapped for sending a dick pic to the tap man’s daughter so he deleted the one after that’, explained Leanne.

‘Then he put up a post trying to excuse his heinous behaviour over the past twenty years because he was depressed but no one bought it, so he deleted that one too’, she added.

When asked if she’d be deleting Dave’s new friend request, Leanne said, ‘Are ya mad? How the hell would I get my day in?’.

 

Enjoy the article? Come and see the writer of the DLA’s stage comedy in Belfast’s Waterfront Hall, running until Sat Oct 6th. To book tickets visit  https://www.waterfront.co.uk/w…/all-events/three-s-a-shroud/ or phone 02890334455.

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