A man was reduced to tears in a local gym after realising he’d left his phone at home, it has emerged.
Andy Bolic (25) made the grizzly discovery when he tried to take the first of his many workout-related selfies this morning.
The self-proclaimed ‘gym freak’ would usually post about twenty photos of himself online over the course of a normal training session.
These images of Andy flexing in front of a mirror are normally accompanied by some bullshit inspirational quotation he’s copied and pasted from the ramblings of some other bell-end who thinks that lifting weights makes him a modern day Plato.
‘I’d just ingested a large energy drink and was slipping into ‘beast mode’ when I realised I’d forgotten my iPhone’, recalled Andy.
‘I mean, what’s the point of even going to the gym if you can’t let everyone on Facebook know about it?’, he sobbed.
‘I had it all planned it out’, he explained.
‘My first pic was gonna be me flexing my bicep while inexplicably wearing an over-sized flat-peaked baseball cap indoors’.
‘Then I’d attach a caption to it like ‘you only have one body, make sure you take care of it’, which is ironic because I’ve been injecting a dangerous cocktail of growth hormones I’ve prescribed off the internet into my buttocks’, he added.
Meanwhile, fellow 18-stone gym-goer Jeremy Sloth puts Andy’s incredible physique simply down to steroids.
‘I’d be his shape to if I took steroids’, said Jeremy while collecting a share bag of Haribo from the reception’s vending machine.