Scientology ‘fleg’ spotted in Belfast

A ‘fleg’ supporting the Church of Scientology has been spotted up a lamppost in Belfast.

It is understood that either Themuns or Usuns are showing solidarity with the controversial organisation which has been passing leaflets around the city in recent days.

It is the latest in a series of strange ‘flegs’ unfurled by locals who love nothing more than hijacking foreign disputes or aligning themselves with contradictory causes.

Tom Cruise

Hollywood A-list weirdo Tom Cruise appeared in a YouTube video this afternoon to express his appreciation on behalf of the Church of Scientology.

‘I stand shoulder to waist band with our Northern Irish brothers today’, beamed the 4ft actor.

‘They are showing their solidarity with us Scientologists against the evil dictator Xenu, who 75 million years ago brought people to this earth and then killed them with hydrogen bombs’.

There’s been a scramble by both sides of the community here to affiliate themselves with the Scientologists.

Dessie Dent from the New Lodge area was keen to ally with the Scientologist’s.

‘They’re a bit like the Catholic Church, wealthy and secretive but without the child abuse’.

‘They might be a pack of weirdos but when it comes to the border poll we’re gonna need all the help we can get’.

But Big ‘Turk’ Young who lives on the Newtownards Road was convinced that Scientologists were loyal to the crown.

‘Sure was your man Tom Cruise working with MI6? Could’a swore I watched something on Netflix about that?’.

‘Not another fucking religion’

But not everybody was enthused by the sight of a Church of Scientology standard flapping in the wind.

‘That there’s just what we need so it is’, sighed Atheist Davy Middleton. ‘Another fucking church’.

‘I hate everything to do with organized religion – except their holidays and days off work’.

Come and see the writer of the DLA’s show ‘Three’s a Shroud’ kicking off in Armagh on Wednesday 19th and then Belfast’s Waterfront Sept 20th – Oct 6th.

http://gblproductions.com/whats-on/threes-a-shroud

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