A Dundonald man who posted a long-winded Facebook status about his inspiring encounter with a homeless person is adamant he isn’t just ‘fishing for likes’, it has emerged.
Kyle Goodman, 23, was walking through the town centre when a homeless man made the terrible mistake of asking him for ‘spare odds’.
The beleaguered man’s request sparked a eureka moment for Kyle who sprang into action.
‘If I gave him money he probably would’ve spent it on something ghastly like booze or a blow job off a heroin addict’.
‘So I went and got him a 6-inch Sub and a hot drink instead.’, explained Kyle.
‘We had a chat and I tried to establish – in a totally unpatronizing way – why he was lying in the street caked in his own shite’.
‘And while he was describing how the bank sold him a 125% mortgage he couldn’t afford then seized his home, I decided to share his story on the internet without his consent’, Kyle added.
‘Then I whipped out my iPhone X and took a selfie with him. The sun must’ve been in his eyes or something cos he was putting his hand across his face’.
The homeless man, Frank Hobo (42), although very grateful for the six inch Meatball Marinara, had an inkling he’d end up in a long-winded Facebook post.
‘While I was telling Kyle about the perils of sub-prime lending, I could tell his mind was elsewhere’.
‘It was almost as if he was writing that Facebook post in his head instead of listening to my story’, said Frank.
‘If I was a suspicious fella, I’d say Kyle was using me a pawn in some despicable scheme to make himself look like a hero and maybe get his hole out of it’.
‘But hey, at least I don’t have to wank someone off for grub today’.