‘What overcrowding?’ ask Glider bosses

Glider-mania gripped Belfast yesterday with commuters eager to test out the new service after years of perpetual roadworks and traffic jams.

But Glider bosses moved swiftly to dismiss rumours that their new bendy buses are overcrowded.

Scores of disgruntled passengers said they were left stranded at stops along the Newtownards Road when jam-packed buses drove past them.

However, Translink bosses described the claims as: ‘A lotta aul ballix’.

‘There’s plenty of fucking room’, gasped Inspector Alexander Dennis while punching his way through a human crush.

‘You don’t hear any of them complaining’, he said while pointing at four pensioners pressed up against the windscreen like 80s Garfield car window toys.

‘Big deal. A few people might have to wait on the next bus. There’ll be one in a couple of hours or so’, he quipped, while giving a two-fingered to salute to a group of drenched school children at the bus stop.

It wasn’t all negativity though as some passengers enjoyed their first Glider experience.

84-year-old Ethel Fossil who sleeps about 3 hours per day and has nothing better to do, said she hopped on the Glider ‘for a wee nosy’.

‘By 7am I’d been to the shops for the papers and had the whole house cleaned. I was just wondering how the fuck I was getting the rest of my day in when I remembered I was entitled to free travel’.

‘So I decided to take a wee race down to Wyse Byse on the new purple bus to buy some shite I’ll give away the next time somebody visits me’, explained Ethel.

Meanwhile, Naomi Long has taken to social media to express her displeasure at the congestion the new bus lanes are causing.

Could be worse Naomi. At least you don’t have to try to get to work in that traffic.

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