As Northern Ireland rapidly approaches 589 days without a functioning assembly, the people are saying they deserve better.
This is despite the fact nearly all of them vote for the same arseholes during every election.
It’s just six days left until the milestone which will see us overtake Belgium’s 2010-2011 record time without a functioning government.
And now the very idiots who elected these politicians are feeling hard done by.
Even though the majority of these people would have you believe they vote for moderate parties, they’re exposed as big lying bastards as soon as they ballots are counted.
‘I don’t want a United Ireland’, confessed one female closet DUP voter.
‘Scandals – Schmandals. Sure, in some sort of utopian democracy I could base my decision on things like health, economic and education policies but that’s impossible’.
‘You honestly think Emily Wilding Davison threw herself under a horse so I could stick an ‘X’ beside Sammy Wilson’s name? But needs must. Those bastards will not get their way’.
A closet Sinn Fein voter told us: ‘I want a United Ireland’.
‘Any Prod ever asks me on a work night out who I vote for and I just about keep a straight face while saying SDLP’.
‘The reunification of the 32 counties is so close, we can almost smell it. When it comes to the border poll, we’ll have the LGBT community on our side, the Poles and Romanians too – in fact just about every minority group the DUP have insulted and we pretend we care about’.
‘You honestly think I care if two lads from Ballybeen Estate can ride each other in Holy Matrimony? Na, but a vote’s a vote!’
The Dundonald Liberation Army have set up their own protests which will be called #WeDeserveEverythingWeGet or #SlapItUpYe