A local woman let everyone know she’s on holiday by uploading a pic of her slimy knees on Facebook, it has emerged.
Helen McMelter publicly announced she was jetting off on her jollies this morning by checking-in at the Lagan Bar on Facebook then uploaded a photo of a blue WKD along with the caption: “And so it begins”.
With her social media following on tenterhooks, Helen relieved the unbearable suspense several hours later by posting a pic of her oiled-up legs along with with the phrase: “Living my best life”
Helen was instantly flooded with ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ from nosy females and creepy men who were ‘friend-zoned-to-fuck’ many years ago.
“Absolutely jel luv. Hope you’ve a ball”, wrote one insincere bastard who couldn’t afford a holiday this year.
But not everyone was impressed with Helen’s sizzling summer snaps.
Ex-friend Chloe McCreeper, who trawls Facebook hoping to be aggrieved by things, said:
“Look at the state’a thon. Thinks she’s some sorta Insta model in that pic and she’s legs on her like two frankfurter sasidges outta the tin”, she snarled.
“Sure she can only afford it cos she got that crisis loan the tramp”.
The remainder of Helen’s followers are eagerly anticipating the next batch of snaps which are sure to include a bikini selfie and the obligatory one on the apartment balcony before a night out.