A local woman let everyone know she’s on holiday by uploading a pic of her slimy knees to Facebook, it has emerged.
Helen McMelter announced she was jetting off on her jollies this morning by checking-in at the Lagan Bar on Facebook and uploading a photo of a blue WKD along with the caption: “And so it begins”.
With her social media following on tenterhooks, Helen relieved the unbearable suspense several hours later by posting a pic of her oiled-up legs accompanied by the phrase: “Living my best life”
Helen was instantly flooded with ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ from nosy females and creepy men who were ‘friend-zoned-to-f**k’ many years ago.
But not everyone was impressed with Helen’s sizzling summer snaps.
“Absolutely jel luv. Hope you’ve a ball”, wrote one insincere bastard who couldn’t afford a holiday this year.
Ex-friend Chloe McCreeper, who trawls Facebook hoping to be aggrieved by things, added:
“Look at the state’a thon. Thinks she’s some sorta Insta model in that pic and she’s legs on her like two frankfurter sasidges outta the tin”.
“Sure she can only afford it cos she got that crisis loan the tramp”.
Meanwhile, it’s understood Helen’s followers are eagerly anticipating tomorrow’s holiday throwback snaps which will include the obligatory one on the apartment balcony before a night out or a bikini-selfie with a bored 2-year-old boy in inflatable armbands sobbing uncontrollably at her feet.