Parades Commission Ban Belfast Gay Pride

 

The 29th annual Belfast Gay Pride march has been thrown into disarray after it was barred from parading along the City Centre, it has emerged. 

The ruling was made after three men in drag breached a Parades Commission determination by singing Liza Minnelli songs while passing a church in the City Centre last year.

Several nights of cat-fighting took place after that march was stopped, with scores of police officers getting their hair ‘trailed’ and ‘scrabbed to bits’.

The LGBT activists have maintained a continuous presence and have set up a ‘camp protest’ outside the City Hall.

One activist, Gerald Fitzpatrick, told us:

‘The parades commission has shown why it is a failed approach yet again’.

‘So what if some of the boys belted out ‘All That Jazz’ after a few gins? It’s a free country flip sake’.

Crisis talks have been held between the Parade’s Commission and LGBT representatives with the situation about to go ‘totally Britney 2007’, according to sources.

In an unusual move, the commission offered Pride goers the ultimatum of playing no Liza Minnelli or Erasure music between Donegall Street and Union Street or having no parade at all.

One concerned resident Rab Rouser, who doesn’t live near the church but wades into these debates to whip up tension, told us:

‘I was on my way to get my granny a bottle of milk when suddenly I was surrounded by a troupe of flamboyantly dressed men singing Gloria Gaynor songs’.

He added, ‘A person should be able to go about their ordinary business, which may include a lot of unnecessary trips to the shop for milk, without the fear of being serenaded by a pack of beautiful men’.

Amidst the chaos, Pride organisers have appealed for ‘glam’.

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