Woman nips outside A&E for a wee feg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zODcWh192sQ A Dundonald woman has nipped outside A&E 'for a wee feg', according to reports. Nicola O'Teen (52) visited her local accident & emergency department this morning complaining of a shortness of breath. Mrs O'Teen, who has smoked from she was 8-years-old, was hoping they'd be able to get to the bottom of her mysterious … Continue reading Woman nips outside A&E for a wee feg

Advertisements

Man seeking plausible Sober October exit strategy

https://youtu.be/zODcWh192sQ A Dundonald man is seeking a credible excuse to end his miserable self-imposed drink embargo, it has emerged. Stephen McGreedy, 37, decided to give up the booze for a month after friends and family subtly pointed out that he'd been ‘completely ripping the hole out of it’ lately. However, fifteen days into sobriety, McGreedy … Continue reading Man seeking plausible Sober October exit strategy

Breaking: Parliament prorogued until Coleen-Rebekah spat resolved

https://youtu.be/zODcWh192sQ The Queen has suspended parliament until all the gory details of the Coleen Rooney-Rebekah Vardy row have been revealed. Leader of the House Jacob Ress-Mogg, who met the Queen earlier today, made the announcement a short while ago, saying: ‘F**k Brexit, all the MPs are getting the popcorn in and watching this WAG war … Continue reading Breaking: Parliament prorogued until Coleen-Rebekah spat resolved

Stephen G Large: The Big Interview

via Stephen G Large: The Big Interview By Conor O’Neill Photography courtesy of Gavin Sloan As the countdown to Dog DLA Afternoon’s Baby Grand debut gains momentum, writer Stephen G Large talks to Culture Crush NI on the play, his first foray into the world of film, other current work, Northern Ireland’s gross national product, … Continue reading Stephen G Large: The Big Interview

Man destroys house making breakfast

https://youtu.be/zODcWh192sQ A Dundonald man caused upwards of £160,000 worth of damage to his own home while making a cooked breakfast, according to reports. 41-year-old Denny Fryer was preparing breakfast for himself and his two daughters when he inadvertently destroyed his kitchen and several major appliances in the process. A structural engineer surveyed the damage this … Continue reading Man destroys house making breakfast

Man has heart attack after accidentally checking his balance while at ATM

A Dundonald man has been rushed to hospital after suffering a heart attack when he inadvertently checked his bank balance while lifting money from an ATM. 37-year-old Sammy Sterling nipped to a cash point in Dundonald Village this morning to lift ‘a score note for fegs’. However, at some point during the automated transaction, Sammy … Continue reading Man has heart attack after accidentally checking his balance while at ATM

Barra Best retires amid rise in Facebook weather experts

    Barra Best, the world’s sexiest bald ginger person, has called time on his day job after a recent surge in the number of  amateur weather watchers on Facebook, it has emerged. Best, a smouldering hunk of burning ginger love, made the announcement outside Belfast City Hall as the cold October rain 'skelpt' him … Continue reading Barra Best retires amid rise in Facebook weather experts

Investigation launched after McDonald’s ice-cream machine found to be working

  A County Down branch of McDonald's has launched an in-house enquiry after it emerged their ice-cream was fully-functioning. McDonald's bosses have promised to investigate allegations made yesterday by a shocked patron who ordered a Sundae and got one. Phyllis O'Fish (35) made the startling discovery after visiting the branch’s famous Drive-Thru facility which prides … Continue reading Investigation launched after McDonald’s ice-cream machine found to be working

D**khead wants to put her Christmas tree up

    A d**khead wants to put her f**king Christmas tree up, it has emerged. Christine Kringle from East Belfast forced her husband (Nick) to fetch the tree from the loft before he went to work this morning. The irritatingly cheerful woman then spent the morning turning her living room into ‘some sort of f**king … Continue reading D**khead wants to put her Christmas tree up

All future court trials will take place on Belfast Live comment section

      All future court trials in Northern Ireland will take place in the comment section of Belfast Live, it has emerged. The newly established ‘NI Court of Bakebook’ is set to save the taxpayer around £100m per year according to estimates. The move has been welcomed with many people believing the existing judicial … Continue reading All future court trials will take place on Belfast Live comment section