Dundonald woman rubs Sudocreme on husband’s broken neck

A Dundonald woman tried to mend her husband’s broken neck using a medicated cream aimed primarily at the treatment of nappy rash, it has emerged. 42-year-old Nick Kringle fractured a cervical vertebrae after falling from his loft while fetching Christmas decorations at his wife’s behest. The plumber tried accessing his roof space by standing on … Continue reading Dundonald woman rubs Sudocreme on husband’s broken neck

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Man reports his ‘mokentroll’ missing to PSNI

The PSNI has issued an urgent appeal for information that might help them locate a Dundonald man’s ‘mokenroll’. The small infrared device is believed to be in the man’s living room but police are not ruling out that it may be somewhere else. 39-year-old Sam Sung of Culross Drive in Ballybeen Estate reported his ‘mokentroll’ … Continue reading Man reports his ‘mokentroll’ missing to PSNI

‘Santa’s watching ya know!’, claims local mother

Desperate mothers across Northern Ireland are making bogus phone calls to an imaginary man in a bid to control their unruly brats, according to reports. A study has revealed that thousands of naughty children are being subjected to empty threats which will have zero impact upon their awful behaviour. And as December fast approaches, mums … Continue reading ‘Santa’s watching ya know!’, claims local mother

1 in 3 Northern Irish households have a rotting pumpkin at their front door

A study by Dundonald Looniversity revealed that almost a third of homes across the province are allowing a pumpkin to wither on their doorstep almost a week after Halloween. Local man Bill Idle (38) placed a pumpkin he carved for his children at his front door on Halloween night. However, almost a full week has … Continue reading 1 in 3 Northern Irish households have a rotting pumpkin at their front door

Woman nips outside A&E for a wee feg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zODcWh192sQ A Dundonald woman has nipped outside A&E 'for a wee feg', according to reports. Nicola O'Teen (52) visited her local accident & emergency department this morning complaining of a shortness of breath. Mrs O'Teen, who has smoked from she was 8-years-old, was hoping they'd be able to get to the bottom of her mysterious … Continue reading Woman nips outside A&E for a wee feg

Man seeking plausible Sober October exit strategy

https://youtu.be/zODcWh192sQ A Dundonald man is seeking a credible excuse to end his miserable self-imposed drink embargo, it has emerged. Stephen McGreedy, 37, decided to give up the booze for a month after friends and family subtly pointed out that he'd been ‘completely ripping the hole out of it’ lately. However, fifteen days into sobriety, McGreedy … Continue reading Man seeking plausible Sober October exit strategy

Breaking: Parliament prorogued until Coleen-Rebekah spat resolved

https://youtu.be/zODcWh192sQ The Queen has suspended parliament until all the gory details of the Coleen Rooney-Rebekah Vardy row have been revealed. Leader of the House Jacob Ress-Mogg, who met the Queen earlier today, made the announcement a short while ago, saying: ‘F**k Brexit, all the MPs are getting the popcorn in and watching this WAG war … Continue reading Breaking: Parliament prorogued until Coleen-Rebekah spat resolved

Stephen G Large: The Big Interview

via Stephen G Large: The Big Interview By Conor O’Neill Photography courtesy of Gavin Sloan As the countdown to Dog DLA Afternoon’s Baby Grand debut gains momentum, writer Stephen G Large talks to Culture Crush NI on the play, his first foray into the world of film, other current work, Northern Ireland’s gross national product, … Continue reading Stephen G Large: The Big Interview

Man destroys house making breakfast

https://youtu.be/zODcWh192sQ A Dundonald man caused upwards of £160,000 worth of damage to his own home while making a cooked breakfast, according to reports. 41-year-old Denny Fryer was preparing breakfast for himself and his two daughters when he inadvertently destroyed his kitchen and several major appliances in the process. A structural engineer surveyed the damage this … Continue reading Man destroys house making breakfast

Man has heart attack after accidentally checking his balance while at ATM

A Dundonald man has been rushed to hospital after suffering a heart attack when he inadvertently checked his bank balance while lifting money from an ATM. 37-year-old Sammy Sterling nipped to a cash point in Dundonald Village this morning to lift ‘a score note for fegs’. However, at some point during the automated transaction, Sammy … Continue reading Man has heart attack after accidentally checking his balance while at ATM