Local woman shares old holiday pic then begs: ‘Oh mummy, take me back’

A Dundonald woman shared a photo taken while on holiday last year then begged: 'Oh mummy, take me back'.  Helen McMelter shared the old snap with her Facebook friends after finally resigning herself to the fact she won't be getting away anywhere this year. After browsing through a photo album on Facebook entitled 'Marmaris 2018 … Continue reading Local woman shares old holiday pic then begs: ‘Oh mummy, take me back’

Advertisements

Local couple to divorce after night spent building flat-pack unit

A Dundonald couple are divorcing after 10 years of marriage following a night of building flat-pack furniture from IKEA, it has emerged. Helen and Joe McMelter made the decision about four hours into their futile bid to assemble a ‘Liatorp’ wall unit, during which the frailties of their relationship were brutally exposed. Despite the protestations … Continue reading Local couple to divorce after night spent building flat-pack unit

Spanish police investigate sighting of Northern Irish holidaymaker not wearing Celtic or Rangers shorts

Spanish police are investigating a reported sighting of a Northern Irish holidaymaker who wasn't wearing Celtic or Rangers shorts.  The Policia Nacional in Alicante said they were called to Calle Gerona this morning after locals reported seeing a pasty ginger man wearing neither Glasgow Celtic or Rangers replica shorts. Every year, thousands of Northern Irish … Continue reading Spanish police investigate sighting of Northern Irish holidaymaker not wearing Celtic or Rangers shorts

Boris Johnson visits Ice Bowl during NI talks

Boris Johnson dropped by Dundonald's International Ice Bowl this morning as the new PM took a break from political talks aiming to restore Northern Ireland's power-sharing government. The Tory leader arrived at the popular facility around 9am this morning and headed straight for the arcades while an aide paid for their bookings at reception. Eyewitnesses … Continue reading Boris Johnson visits Ice Bowl during NI talks

Buses hijacked and set alight as Dundonald takeaways run out of salted chilli chicken

Vehicles were hijacked and torched in Dundonald last night after several Chinese takeaways run out of salted chilli chicken. Masked men hijacked a bus and set it on fire, police said, in one of several incidents unfolding across the town during a night of unparalleled disorder. Trouble erupted in the civil parish after it emerged … Continue reading Buses hijacked and set alight as Dundonald takeaways run out of salted chilli chicken

Dundonald seagull winged for anti-social behaviour

A SEAGULL in his 20s has been shot in both wings in a "paramilitary-style" attack in Dundonald last night. Police are currently at the scene in Ardmore Avenue in Ballybeen Estate. An ambulance service spokesman said: “We received the report of a male seagull having been shot through the wings in an alleyway in Ardmore … Continue reading Dundonald seagull winged for anti-social behaviour

Local woman left badly shaken after falling on vibro plate

A Dundonald woman was left ‘badly shaken’ after going head over arse on a vibro plate at her local gym, it has emerged. Anna Robic (41) was performing a ‘side plank’ when her arm gave way beneath her sending her crashing face-first into a high-powered vibrating plate. The mother-of-three’s head repeatedly bounced of the plate … Continue reading Local woman left badly shaken after falling on vibro plate

Local woman who claimed she was deleting Facebook for good returns 2 days later

A Dundonald woman abruptly ended her self-imposed two-day Facebook exile with a post reading: ‘Well, that lasted long’. Shelly 'Loyal' Magee (32) conceded defeat after 48 hellish hours of being unable to pry on the lives of people she knows but can no longer stand. It constituted an embarrassing U-turn for Shelly after she posted … Continue reading Local woman who claimed she was deleting Facebook for good returns 2 days later

David Beckham reduced to tears on Barry’s Ghost Train

Global superstar David Beckham was reduced to tears after a 'very scary' experience in a Portrush theme park, according to reports. The former Manchester United star (44) had to be consoled by his team of minders after taking a ride on the Ghost Train in Barry's Amusements. Beckham and his entourage descended upon the seaside … Continue reading David Beckham reduced to tears on Barry’s Ghost Train

Local woman sweats her diddies off

A Dundonald woman was rushed to hospital this afternoon after her breasts melted into two puddles of sweat, it has emerged. Mrs McQuitty (42) complained to family members that she was 'absolute sweltered' as temperatures across the province soared to 23 degrees. McQuitty, who was very well-endowed in the chest department, was rushed to the … Continue reading Local woman sweats her diddies off